Wash Your Troubles Away!
Curious?
Who Are We?
A Cult in the middle of nowhere.
A Cult of Dice.
A Cult of 20.
Our Sacred Robes
Members of The Children of Eternal Sorrow are entitled to the opportunity to procure robes of their own. Are you a member? Acquire yours now!
The Book of Baby
An excerpt of our sacred texts. Rise through the ranks and all will be revealed!
“Whitney was a woman who had lost everything. She was struggling to make ends meet, when one day she had a revelation. She created 20 sided dice filled with tiny babies.
These items caused an uproar and her following grew to hundreds of thousands of people, almost overnight. Now, she guides her followers to a new life of everlasting and wonderful chaos.
The 20 sided dice filled with tiny babies is a metaphor for the infinite possibilities that life offers. Just as there are an endless number of ways to roll a 20 sided dice, there are an infinite number of ways to live your life.
The tiny babies represent the potential for love and joy that exists in every person. No matter how bad things might seem, there is always the potential for happiness and new life.
The chaotic nature of the dice represents the unpredictable and often confusing path that life can take. But, as the Babysitter says, "the only way to find out what will happen is to roll the dice."
In other words, life is a gamble. You never know what's going to happen, but the only way to find out is to take a chance and see what happens. So go out and roll the dice, because you never know what life has in store for you.”
The Babysitter
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Whitney
Our dear leader is generous, quick, sweet and perhaps a little too mean. But there's more than meets the eye, not surprising for somebody with her position.
She was born in a decent family in a normal town. She lived happily until she was about 32 years old, but at that point life changed.
She found the magical artistry of dice-making, and traveled eastern boundaries of the country and visiting markets large and small to share her wares. Having overcome plenty of obstacles, she began to make a name for herself in a fantastic world filled with many creators. But with her skills and intrepidness, there's nothing to stop her from going beyond expectations. She could quickly become a force to be reckoned with.
But things changed when she discovered a secret. A secret that changed the face of dice-making. One could place eternal youths of VARIOUS colors INSIDE of dice, trapping them forever in resin prisons. You could even add glitters, holographic papers, even sprinkles! The world was not prepared for this higher purpose of dice-making. She feels like there's more to learn.
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DISCLAIMER: The Children of Eternal Sorrow was created with humorous intent and is not, by any means, a religious group.